Leo's Guide to MFCin'

I have some exciting news today, as I have done my first blogger interview! B (a different B than previously mentioned in my post), of Queen but no Crown, interviewed me for her blog. You can read about it here (scroll to "Shell").

In the near future, I will also be doing blogger interviews for my own blog, so if you have a blog or online shop and are interested, leave your name, link & address in the comment section. You must be a blog follower to qualify.

I missed yet another Video Viernes because I was en route back to Chattanooga after a week long vacation at my house in Memphis. Maybe I'll get around to posting videos next Friday. And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

 

This is Leo, a pekingese "shit"zu mix (as my boyfriend often refers to him). Some say he's ugly, others fawn all over him at the dog park. I guess it just goes back to personal doggy preference. Leo is an MFCin' champ. Oh, and in case you weren't aware, MFC stands for "monster fuckin' chillinz" (see official dictionary entry here). He can most often found perching on the top of the big comfy chair in our living room. Yes, he sits up there just like a cat. He also likes to hide under beds (like a cat) and would probably feel right at home using a litter box (like a cat). 

I found Leo on craigslist almost 2 years ago. I really wasn't in the market to adopt a puppy, but I'm constantly browsing the craigslist pets section because I like to look at the pictures of the animals people post. So I clicked on the "pekingese puppies" ad and saw this adorable little fluff-face staring up at me from the glowing screen on my laptop:

How can you NOT want to instantly adopt something that cute!? I called the lady and arranged to come meet the puppy. My boyfriend and I drove about fifty-something miles outside of Chattanooga and into the deep countryside. Like DEEP. This was the kind of country you see in horror movies where the car breaks down on some abandoned road, and then everyone gets attacked by a crazy mutated zombie redneck. We pulled up to this lady's trailer and knocked. We were greeted by a rather large woman (who was missing quite a few teeth) and about three or four dogs running rampant in her house. She came out with the little puppy resting in her arms, and I couldn't wait to take him home. She told me he was the last puppy and the runt of the litter. Someone had previously adopted him but had to return him back to her (for unknown reasons?) so I was glad I could give him a home. The entire ride home, he sat in my lap, calm, cool and collected. Or sedated, as we later came to believe...

This is Leo, grown up. He is no longer the calm, sleepy puppy we thought we had adopted. Although he is a master at lounging (when he wants to be), he can be quite hyper as small dogs are prone to be and has the highest pitched bark I've ever heard. Despite my training and his lack of balls (literally), he still marks in the house from time to time and will whine when he isn't given enough attention. However, he loves to curl up on laps and be loved on. He'll chill on any spot so long as it's soft or warm, especially dirty clothes (my boyfriend's dog May also loves dirty piles of clothes. It must be something about the way they smell like their people.)

Leo's guide to MFCin' (as told by Leo):

• If it's soft and/or warm, lay on it. Worry about getting in trouble later.
• The top of the couch and/or recliners make the best snoozing spots, and the crevices are especially good for hiding your chewies and treats.
• When chillin' by windows or doors, be sure to bark at everything that moves so it knows you're more important than whatever it is you're barking at.
• When chillin' on your back and people are near, wiggle all your limbs in the air and/or snake around on the floor/couch/surface you're on and make gremlin noises so people know you want your belly rubbed.
• If people still ignore your pleas to be petted, nudge their hand with your nose.
• When chillin' outside, run around and bark for as long as you can. Even if you are allowed to play outside for an hour or so, just continually bark so the neighbors, birds and squirrels are all made aware of your important presence.
• If it's raining, and you are let outside to do your business, but want to squeeze in a small amount of chill time, always go seek out the muddiest spot in the yard and roll around in it.
• For bath time chillin', you can either lay there and take it (often speeding up the bath process) or be spazzy like May and attempt to escape the treacherous bathtub and shampoo bottle but will most likely not end well.
• If your person has fitted you with a "homemade cone of shame" (ie. a paper plate) to deter you from chewing at your sutures, lay on the floor and look pitiful until said cone is removed. The same rules apply when your person dresses you in silly costumes for holidays. See exhibit A below: 
  

• Finally, if your owner has misplaced your doggie belly-band to deter you from marking indoors and fits you with an incredibly silly-looking homemade device (AKA a Wal-Mart bag) to prevent you from peeing indoors, WORK IT! Just own that bitch and strut around like hot shit because it's not coming off. See exhibit B below: